Cowboys
DEF · 2011–2025 · 68 appearances · 583.0 total pts · 8.6 avg pts
Career Stats
| Year | Manager | NFL Team | Weeks | Total Pts | Avg Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2025 |  Becker-Parton,  Valenzuela,  Baumann | 6 | 11.0 | 1.8 | |
| 2023 | Becker-Parton,  Banys | 15 | 139.0 | 9.3 | |
| 2022 |  Bronchtein | 17 | 204.0 | 12.0 | |
| 2020 | Becker-Parton | 3 | 8.0 | 2.7 | |
| 2019 |  Freundlich, Becker-Parton,  Wright,  Waxman | 5 | 43.0 | 8.6 | |
| 2018 | Becker-Parton, Valenzuela, Waxman, Freundlich | 5 | 36.0 | 7.2 | |
| 2017 | Freundlich, Becker-Parton | 3 | 40.0 | 13.3 | |
| 2016 | Baumann | 1 | 8.0 | 8.0 | |
| 2014 | Becker-Parton, Freundlich | 2 | 17.0 | 8.5 | |
| 2013 | Freundlich, Banys, Bronchtein | 3 | 28.0 | 9.3 | |
| 2012 |  Foote | 1 | 5.0 | 5.0 | |
| 2011 | Foote, Freundlich, Baumann | 7 | 44.0 | 6.3 |
Week-by-Week History
2025 — — 6 weeks, 11.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Becker-Parton | Skatt Porn | DEF | NYG | 1.0 | |
| 5 | Becker-Parton | Skatt Porn | DEF | @NYJ | 9.0 | |
| 14 | Valenzuela | Jauan me to eat your butt | DEF | @DET | -3.0 | |
| 15 | Baumann | Release the Epenesa Files | DEF | MIN | 1.0 | |
| 16 | Baumann | Release the Epenesa Files | DEF | LAC | 1.0 | |
| 17 | Baumann | Release the Epenesa Files | DEF | @WAS | 2.0 |
2023 — — 15 weeks, 139.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Becker-Parton | Steven Haushka 4 Commissioner | DEF | NYJ | 17.0 | |
| 3 | Becker-Parton | Steven Haushka 4 Commissioner | DEF | @ARI | 1.0 | |
| 4 | Becker-Parton | Steven Haushka 4 Commissioner | DEF | NE | 29.0 | |
| 5 | Becker-Parton | Steven Haushka 4 Commissioner | DEF | @SF | 1.0 | |
| 7 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | Bye | 0.0 | |
| 8 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | LAR | 13.0 | |
| 9 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | DEF | @PHI | 6.0 | |
| 10 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | DEF | NYG | 8.0 | |
| 11 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | DEF | @CAR | 23.0 | |
| 12 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | DEF | WAS | 16.0 | |
| 13 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | DEF | SEA | -1.0 | |
| 14 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | PHI | 17.0 | |
| 15 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | @BUF | 2.0 | |
| 16 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | @MIA | 1.0 | |
| 17 | Banys | Coup II Electric Boogaloo | BN | DET | 6.0 |
2022 — — 17 weeks, 204.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | TB | 5.0 | |
| 2 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | CIN | 9.0 | |
| 3 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @NYG | 8.0 | |
| 4 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | WAS | 12.0 | |
| 5 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @LAR | 25.0 | |
| 6 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @PHI | 4.0 | |
| 7 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | DET | 30.0 | |
| 8 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | CHI | 13.0 | |
| 9 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | BN | Bye | 0.0 | |
| 10 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @GB | 11.0 | |
| 11 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @MIN | 20.0 | |
| 12 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | NYG | 6.0 | |
| 13 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | IND | 24.0 | |
| 14 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | HOU | 6.0 | |
| 15 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @JAX | 8.0 | |
| 16 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | PHI | 9.0 | |
| 17 | Bronchtein | Zach Wilson Milf Hunter | DEF | @TEN | 14.0 |
2020 — — 3 weeks, 8.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Unemployment Checks | DEF | NYG | 9.0 | |
| 6 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Unemployment Checks | DEF | ARI | -3.0 | |
| 7 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Unemployment Checks | DEF | @WAS | 2.0 |
2019 — — 5 weeks, 43.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Freundlich | Grown Men Named Booger | DEF | NYG | 6.0 | |
| 3 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Kicker Camp 4 Girls | DEF | MIA | 12.0 | |
| 6 | Wright | Chubby Hunter | DEF | @NYJ | 4.0 | |
| 9 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Kicker Camp 4 Girls | DEF | @NYG | 18.0 | |
| 11 | Waxman | The Ballad of Buster Skrine | DEF | @DET | 3.0 |
2018 — — 5 weeks, 36.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Becker-Parton | this old hauschka | DEF | @SEA | 2.0 | |
| 9 | Valenzuela | Your Mom's Injured Vajayajayi | DEF | TEN | 7.0 | |
| 12 | Waxman | Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt | DEF | WAS | 9.0 | |
| 14 | Freundlich | The Day After Kamara | BN | PHI | 4.0 | |
| 16 | Freundlich | The Day After Kamara | BN | TB | 14.0 |
2017 — — 3 weeks, 40.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Freundlich | Heart Like a Le'Veon | DEF | @SF | 15.0 | |
| 8 | Freundlich | Heart Like a Le'Veon | DEF | @WAS | 17.0 | |
| 14 | Becker-Parton | Stephen Hauschka's New Team | DEF | @NYG | 8.0 |
2016 — — 1 weeks, 8.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 9 | Baumann | Siemian on her TDs | DEF | @CLE | 8.0 |
2014 — — 2 weeks, 17.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | Becker-Parton | Hauschka's Super Bowl Ring | DEF | WAS | 6.0 | |
| 10 | Freundlich | for EmmanuelSanders foreverago | DEF | @JAX | 11.0 |
2013 — — 3 weeks, 28.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Freundlich | Bad Dilfer and a Broken Farve | DEF | LAR | 12.0 | |
| 9 | Banys | Nicaraguan Crabtree Sandwich | BN | MIN | 12.0 | |
| 13 | Bronchtein | Asomugha to Mouth | DEF | LV | 4.0 |
2012 — — 1 weeks, 5.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Foote | Virgins with AIDS | DEF | CLE | 5.0 |
2011 — — 7 weeks, 44.0 pts
| Wk | Manager | Team | Slot | NFL Team | Opponent | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Foote | Anne Frank's Cunt | DEF | @SF | 8.0 | |
| 7 | Freundlich | Jake Ballard of a Thin Man | DEF | LAR | 9.0 | |
| 9 | Foote | Anne Frank's Cunt | DEF | SEA | 11.0 | |
| 11 | Baumann | Steve's Breaston Largements | DEF | @WAS | 7.0 | |
| 13 | Foote | Anne Frank's Cunt | DEF | @ARI | 6.0 | |
| 14 | Foote | Anne Frank's Cunt | BN | NYG | -2.0 | |
| 16 | Foote | Anne Frank's Cunt | BN | PHI | 5.0 |