Texans

DEF · 2011–2025 · 130 appearances · 1049.0 total pts · 8.1 avg pts

Career Stats

Year	Manager	NFL Team	Weeks	Total Pts	Avg Pts
2025	Baumann, Valenzuela		16	160.0	10.0
2023	Kassel, Faust, Freundlich		6	67.0	11.2
2022	Baumann		1	9.0	9.0
2020	Valenzuela		2	4.0	2.0
2019	Norberg		9	65.0	7.2
2018	Waxman, Banys		15	127.0	8.5
2017	Valenzuela, Freundlich		7	54.0	7.7
2016	Becker-Parton, Freundlich, Ballard		15	87.0	5.8
2015	Rath, Banys		10	76.0	7.6
2014	Wright, Bronchtein, Ballard		14	126.0	9.0
2013	Wright, Baumann, Valenzuela, Ballard		11	39.0	3.5
2012	Valenzuela		15	152.0	10.1
2011	Baumann		9	83.0	9.2

Week-by-Week History

2025 — — 16 weeks, 160.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@LAR	8.0
2	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		TB	7.0
3	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@JAX	5.0
4	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		TEN	14.0
5	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@BAL	11.0
6	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	BN		Bye	0.0
7	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@SEA	20.0
8	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		SF	7.0
9	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		DEN	6.0
10	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		JAX	18.0
11	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@TEN	11.0
12	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		BUF	17.0
13	Baumann	Release the Epenesa Files	DEF		@IND	2.0
14	Valenzuela	Jauan me to eat your butt	BN		@KC	12.0
15	Valenzuela	Jauan me to eat your butt	DEF		ARI	9.0
16	Valenzuela	Jauan me to eat your butt	DEF		LV	13.0

2023 — — 6 weeks, 67.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
5	Kassel	The Olave Garden	DEF		@ATL	8.0
8	Faust	Travis Etienne That Ass	DEF		@CAR	7.0
14	Freundlich	Bijan Curious	DEF		@NYJ	7.0
15	Freundlich	Bijan Curious	DEF		@TEN	15.0
16	Freundlich	Bijan Curious	DEF		CLE	7.0
17	Freundlich	Bijan Curious	DEF		TEN	23.0

2022 — — 1 weeks, 9.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
3	Baumann	A Meinerz Setback	DEF		@CHI	9.0

2020 — — 2 weeks, 4.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
8	Valenzuela	punani dasani coochie dinucci	BN		Bye	0.0
9	Valenzuela	punani dasani coochie dinucci	DEF		@JAX	4.0

2019 — — 9 weeks, 65.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		@NO	2.0
2	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		JAX	10.0
3	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		@LAC	8.0
4	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		CAR	10.0
5	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		ATL	9.0
6	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		@KC	5.0
7	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		@IND	2.0
8	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		LV	0.0
9	Norberg	Orchids of Asia Power Hour	DEF		@JAX	19.0

2018 — — 15 weeks, 127.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		@NE	8.0
2	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		@TEN	2.0
3	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		NYG	4.0
4	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		@IND	13.0
5	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		DAL	7.0
6	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		BUF	18.0
7	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		@JAX	14.0
8	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		MIA	4.0
9	Waxman	Kareem Rigged Witch Hunt	DEF		@DEN	5.0
10	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	BN		Bye	0.0
11	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	DEF		@WAS	15.0
12	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	DEF		TEN	9.0
13	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	DEF		CLE	18.0
14	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	DEF		IND	4.0
16	Banys	Democracy Dies in Darkwa	DEF		@PHI	6.0

2017 — — 7 weeks, 54.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Valenzuela	BEAST CHODE	DEF		JAX	0.0
2	Valenzuela	BEAST CHODE	DEF		@CIN	9.0
6	Valenzuela	BEAST CHODE	DEF		CLE	22.0
9	Valenzuela	BEAST CHODE	DEF		IND	12.0
11	Freundlich	Heart Like a Le'Veon	DEF		ARI	6.0
12	Freundlich	Heart Like a Le'Veon	DEF		@BAL	1.0
13	Freundlich	Heart Like a Le'Veon	DEF		@TEN	4.0

2016 — — 15 weeks, 87.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Becker-Parton	Stephen Hauschka's Real Name	DEF		CHI	8.0
2	Becker-Parton	Stephen Hauschka's Real Name	DEF		KC	14.0
4	Freundlich	Spooky Wiener	DEF		TEN	10.0
5	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	DEF		@MIN	1.0
6	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	DEF		IND	5.0
7	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	DEF		@DEN	0.0
8	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	DEF		DET	5.0
9	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		Bye	0.0
10	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		@JAX	12.0
11	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	DEF		@LV	2.0
12	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		LAC	3.0
13	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		@GB	3.0
14	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		@IND	8.0
15	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		JAX	7.0
16	Ballard	Meowkevious Bingo	BN		CIN	9.0

2015 — — 10 weeks, 76.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Rath	Byronious	DEF		KC	2.0
2	Rath	Byronious	DEF		@CAR	4.0
3	Rath	Byronious	DEF		TB	6.0
4	Rath	Byronious	DEF		@ATL	-2.0
8	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		TEN	20.0
11	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		NYJ	8.0
12	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		NO	11.0
13	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		@BUF	0.0
14	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		NE	5.0
16	Banys	Barkevious Mandingo	DEF		@TEN	22.0

2014 — — 14 weeks, 126.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
2	Wright	Ebrony Threesome	DEF		@LV	9.0
3	Wright	Ebrony Threesome	DEF		@NYG	2.0
4	Wright	Ebrony Threesome	DEF		BUF	13.0
5	Bronchtein	A Teo of Two Titties	DEF		@DAL	8.0
7	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		@PIT	4.0
8	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		@TEN	7.0
9	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		PHI	17.0
10	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	BN		Bye	0.0
11	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		@CLE	10.0
12	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		CIN	9.0
13	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		TEN	12.0
14	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		@JAX	10.0
15	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		@IND	13.0
16	Ballard	JJ aka Juggalo Jihad Twatt	DEF		BAL	12.0

2013 — — 11 weeks, 39.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Wright	Cunt Punters	DEF		@LAC	9.0
2	Wright	Cunt Punters	DEF		TEN	7.0
3	Wright	Cunt Punters	DEF		@BAL	2.0
5	Baumann	Two Girls One Kuper	DEF		@SF	0.0
6	Valenzuela	The Arian Brotherhood	DEF		LAR	-1.0
10	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	DEF		@ARI	7.0
11	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	DEF		LV	7.0
12	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	BN		JAX	8.0
13	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	BN		NE	2.0
14	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	BN		@JAX	1.0
16	Ballard	Denarius Targaryen Moore	BN		DEN	-3.0

2012 — — 15 weeks, 152.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
1	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		MIA	15.0
2	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		@JAX	9.0
3	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		@DEN	5.0
4	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		TEN	23.0
5	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		@NYJ	8.0
6	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		GB	4.0
7	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		BAL	20.0
8	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	BN		Bye	0.0
9	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		BUF	10.0
10	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		@CHI	15.0
11	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		JAX	0.0
12	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		@DET	4.0
13	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	BN		@TEN	22.0
15	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		IND	14.0
16	Valenzuela	CHROMED OUT PENIS	DEF		MIN	3.0

2011 — — 9 weeks, 83.0 pts

Wk	Manager	Team	Slot	NFL Team	Opponent	Pts
6	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		@BAL	5.0
7	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		@TEN	16.0
8	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		JAX	6.0
9	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		CLE	12.0
10	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		@TB	16.0
12	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		@JAX	13.0
13	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		ATL	8.0
15	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		CAR	1.0
16	Baumann	Steve's Breaston Largements	DEF		@IND	6.0